3 months a Yoder

by Michele

Our girls have been Yoders now for 3 months.  It is hard to imagine that we have actually had them for a full 3 months now, it doesn’t seem like it has been that long yet sometimes it seems like we have had them for a lot longer.

Three months ago, I was worried about the girls attachment.  I am not worried about it any more because I have seen them play with many people but still come running to me to get comforted.  I get really big hugs when our girls “find” us at church.  They get excited when I come home.

Three months ago, we were worried about understanding how to feed the girls.  It was a disaster in China because we assumed someone almost 2 years old could feed themselves a bit but they clearly had never fed themselves.  It was a growing and challenging experience at home to learn how to eat with spoons/forks.  Our cleaning lady earned her money scrubbing every surface of our table, chairs, booster chairs, and floors in the dining room from all of the flung food.  However, right before their surgeries, the girls would sometimes actually use spoons and forks to get food into their mouth.  Usually they just used their fingers and yes,it was very messy but it didn’t end up on the floor as much.

Three months ago, the girls had temper tantrum after temper tantrum and each one would last about 30-45 mins of ear splitting screams complete with flailing arms and kicking legs.  Well, this has gotten a bit better.  When the girls are at home with me and they start crying, I just tell them to go upstairs and cry in their room.  They actually go!  In a few minutes they are usually done crying and they can then come downstairs.  They have even started coming down on their own after they are done crying.  Yesterday all I had to say, “stop crying or go upstairs,” and both girls were able to take a few big breaths, calm themselves down and stay with us instead of going upstairs.  However, this technique seems to only work for me.  Ted and everyone else is still struggling with the temper tantrums.  Today my mom started to go upstairs.  She told the girls that she can not carry them up the stairs, that they have to walk on their own.  Jenna did not like this idea and she did a face dive into the carpet and actually ripped open one of her stitches.  In this picture, Jenna decided she did not want to stand by her sister so she started crying, go figure.

Three months ago, we were very sleep deprived.  THEY DID NOT SLEEP!  I would be very excited to say they sleep now; however, that would be a very big lie.  They have switched their nights around so they are on Minnesota time, I think.  They still cry a lot.  I almost think it is their self-soothing technique and how do you fix that problem.  The girls usually have a 2 hour nap.  Just about every day one of them wakes up and cries for at least 5 minutes every nap.  I have thought that maybe they are done napping but they are not.  They go back to sleep for another 1hr.  Yesterday my mom was here watching the girls while I took the boys to the dentist.  I told her to leave the girls in their room until 2:30 (2 hrs from when I put them down).  Quinn woke up and started crying 5 mins after I left (1:50).  My mom, who didn’t listen to me, went and got Quinn and brought her to the couch.  Quinn went into hysterics, ran screaming from my mom all the way upstairs, slammed the door shut and screamed for another 5 mins.  She fell back to sleep on her own and did not come out again for another 1 hr and 20 min.   My mom was too scared to even go check on Quinn again.  This same thing happens at night however they cry for 1-2 hrs instead of 5 mins before the fall back to sleep.  I am ready for them to move downstairs and sleep (someplace where I can not hear them).  Luke said he went to bed with a pillow on his head so he couldn’t hear the girls scream.  Hopefully when I give another update a few months down the road, I can change this one.  If anyone has any idea on what to do, please please send me a comment.

Three months ago, they had an unrepaired cleft lip and palate.  Today I can say they have a repaired palate.  Hopefully soon they will learn that they can actually make different sounds and start to talk because the roof of their mouth is no longer open and they can start using it to articulate with.  I think we start speech therapy soon.  I am so excited for the first word.  I wonder if they will say one word, realize what they did and just start saying tons of things or if it will be a battle for each new sound, each new syllable.  If anyone is going to go through this surgery soon, bring bibs, lots of bibs.  We were not warned of how much they would drool afterwards but they are soaking through shirts and bibs about every 1-2 hrs.  We are going through a lot of cloths.  Here are a few picts of the inside of their mouths.  I posted a picture in a different post labeled “In 12 days” if you would like to see the before picture.  The first one is Jenna (yes she is crying again in this picture.  She didn’t want her diaper changed.  I figured her mouth is already open and she is already crying so why not take a few pictures.  Notice the fresh blood on her lip from her broken stitch.)  I am a little concerned about all of the gooey white stuff.  I don’t know if it is pus or just leftover food or normal healing so if you are a nurse and see these pictures, let me know if I should be going into the doctor.  I think Quinn’s is worse (she is the second one).



Quinn was funny when I was taking this picture.  She knew what I was trying to do and she was trying so hard to get her tongue out of the way but she just could not seem to do it.  I helped a bit with my finger.  She was all smiles when I was done.  She seemed very proud of herself for laying so still so I could get a picture.

So there you have it…3 months a Yoder.


About tochinaandbackagain

I am a stay at home mom to two very active boys and soon we will bring home two Chinese twin girls with cleft lip and palate issues. I spend my day trying to be the best parent and wife I can be with God leading the way.
This entry was posted in Cleft lip and palate, Home, Our Adoption Journey. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to 3 months a Yoder

  1. This sounds like SO much progress; and it is also the reason why you are both so tired. Kudos to the whole family, as well as all your supporters and helpers.

  2. Amber Albrecht says:

    Love seeing another update! You are one strong woman Michele! The Lord sure knew what he was doing when he choose you to be their mother! I think of you guys often! Continued prayers coming your way.

  3. Katie L. says:

    Wow, when you put it all in one post like that it does sound like a lot of progress. Still a ways to go, but you are well on your way. The big one, attachment, is the best progress!!!!

  4. Pingback: God Answers Prayer | To China and Back Again

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